brown dress with white dots
"It's hard convincing yourself that where you are at the moment is your home, and it's not always where your heart is. Sometimes I win and sometimes not."
-- Jonathan Carroll
The lovers are a different thing altogether. You see them on the street kissing, groping, laughing, hugging, trying to eat one another in big bites. This makes you smile, but there’s also something else in your heart that’s like discovering a bone in the middle of a bite of a delicious piece of fish. You must stop eating immediately to locate the thing with your fingers and get it out of your mouth before it chokes you. So too the lovers; you see them and smile, but you also can’t help disliking them a little. Disliking them for their obvious joy, completeness, their this-moment-is-all-that-matters-ness. You have a thousand things on your mind, none of them of any importance. The lovers have exactly one thing on their minds and it is more important than everything. The person they are embracing, their all and everything, completely fills the view through their windshield. You want that; seeing their passion makes you miss it like air when you are deep under water. Chances are it’s been a while since you felt that crazy about someone, about *anything*. Seeing them is concrete proof of a glory that is possible but not frequent. You want to linger and watch their happiness. At the same time you want to pass quickly by before it reminds you again with a kick in the soul how wonderful life can be sometimes—just not for you right now.
Jonathan Carroll


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