brown dress with white dots
"It's hard convincing yourself that where you are at the moment is your home, and it's not always where your heart is. Sometimes I win and sometimes not."
-- Jonathan Carroll
Vintage auto headlight lens lamp by Joy Price
She was the ghost in the story of his life, haunting all of his houses and later relationships; walking with loud footsteps through too many of his dreams.
Jonathan Carroll
The first time they went to bed, he entered the room and she said “You’re wearing a different watch.”
He glanced at it, as if seeing the black rubber thing on his wrist for the first time. He said tentatively, “It’s my night watch.”
“You change watches before going to bed?”
“Yes. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and want to know what time it is. This one has a very bright dial.”
Looking at her dark nail polish, he wished they weren’t having this conversation. “Why do I want to know what time it is?”
“Yes.” She was smiling at him. Not with him— *at* him. A moment ago things were sexy. Now they were funny. He was hoping a quick right answer would make things sexy again.
“I don’t know. To see how much more time I have left to sleep.”
Her smile grew to the size of a frisbee. “I like you.”
The gravity he was used to had disappeared altogether from the room. He was drifting in her outer space and didn’t know how to maneuver in it. “Is that good?”

— Jonathan Carroll
Tuukka Koski
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